The Red River Retard

Here is a list of retarded things you can do to make everyone think you travel the short yellow every where. After even one of these tasks will condemn you from picking up chicks in your home town for the next century.
- Get a balloon and blow it up. Keep spitting in it so that when it is inflated and held to light, you can see the spit. Blow it around at the neighbors. You will never be normal again.

- Fill your mouth with water and spit it out and spin while you do. This one has been done by me in front of the neighbors, new ones at that.

- Yell stupid things loudly in a public setting.
- Wear sweat pants and pull them up high and keep them there with suspenders. Dork

- Turn into a gueedo, try and grow your hair so it is slanted in the back. If you know who the Gueedo is , you'll know.

- Go into a local store and start talking like a retard asking if you could recieve help in the washroom. Specify that you are unable to reach around to wipe down.
- Start laughing histarically at nothing and start spinning around on the ground and pretend to have a seizer. Have fun with the only sympathy you will ever get from a girl.
- Go into a restaurant and do not eat with utensils, eat like a dog.
- Get a pair of briefs and wear them on the outside of your pants. Also get a cape. Go to a mall and sit in the food court with the hottest girls you can find. Try picking one of them up just for the fun of it.

- Squel while you are in a stall in a public washroom. Breath heavily and then walk out and with out washing your hands, introduce yourself to someone.

Knock yourself out with this one, just remember, once any of these are done, you can't reverse the side effects.