Faster Than The Speed Of Nothing

Thats right, you are a slow, retard with the face of a crack addict, the ass of a hobo and have the sexual attractivness of a dead hippo. Friggin weirdos, that really make you want to just spaz or laugh so hard that you when your pants are covered in urine you will pass out in a fit of insanity.
Will I guess that describes a few people that I have met and heard of recently. How does a person that is huge have the annoying high voice of that sounds as if it was the mix of a mouse, Ronald McDonald, Geddy Lee, and the whine of Chihuahua, and a person addicted to eating Puffed wheat? How does a person that looks like a a hippie wanna be get with someone? How does a person blow their nose with both hands while driving 50 not hit the bus I was on?
I am not sure of the answer but I can rant of what I think. That guy with the voice has one sick smile and hard to listen too. Kinda like this girl that works at the Subway where I live. She is just a lot better to look at then what we will call " Fat Igloo Boy" or FIGGY. He just eats so much and hangs out with a girl that who never shuts up, reminds me of some person named Sarah. She thinks she knows everything. Stupid Bitch just never shuts up. I hate it when I hear her being the only person in a conversation. She is not hot either so don't think anyone is gonna put up with her to stare at her. The hippie wanna be's ( there is a few) are just weird ( like I am weird but not that weird). How do they get with people? They aint fat but thats just because some of them are street bums and the others eat from health food stores that sell crickets and centipedes for a meal. No fat on them things unless they are from one of the worlds many fast food slum courts.
Faster than the speed of nothing, the world sits there and sucks up all of the sanity and leaves behind only garbage for crows to eat and Hugo when he is a street bum. I can tell you right now that if I was any of the weirdos described here I could be a real classy pimp ( When I get that cane and coat and car, I am gonna be a ghetto legend). Them two ladies that are gonna be in my arms are gonna be like " whoha, that Gary Garrison is my hero". I will be as cool as Captain Crunch.
Until I get that coat or become a hippie, I guess I'll have to live my life. Time to fall down the stairs for fun.

P.S. : a shout out to the following people. Clint, Deanna, Amanda, Tyler, Castro Stevis, Pickle, Frankster of the Freaks, Kayla, Courtney. I bet you all that you think I'm a mental case now.
Check out When Good Dogs Do Bad things by The Dillinger Escape Plan when your bored.