Reader Profile:Melissa E

Name: Melissa E
Age: 18 ( Estimated could be older)
Maritial Status: Single and Looking ( Maybe)
Occupation: Clothing Store Bouncer
Favorite Music: Unknown but reports say maybe The Beatles.
Hometown: Wherever she can crash but maybe Compton
Interests: Baseball,Slipknot, Salt, Plow Trucks, Beer, The Adventures of Hugo, Keys, Rats, Mimes, Supertron Random
Dream Dates: Hank Hill, Castro Stevis, Mr. Supertron, Rob

Why Melissa is little known to the media, she does many things to people at her work that may have started a media frenzy if she was for instance a singing female superstar. Well it is unknown if she is a singer but we do know that she is an amazing bouncer. At her clothing store which sells pant, a huge man that was a size away from being a Mr. Olympia was stealing a pair of Denim jean for one of his legs. Then he started to beat up a stray dog which was randomly in the store wearing a shirt that said " Lets Do a Dirty Sanchez". The man was insane because then he started screaming I am Jambo. Melissa knew there had been enough crap from this steroid sucking cyborg. She grabbed her Louisville Slugger and hit him upside of the head. He fell like a tonne of bricks off a horses lumpy back. The jeans were saved but were beyond repair. They were smeared in the mans grease and Melissa burnt them infront of everyone. Some of the children had toasted marshmallows over the jean fire.
Maybe Melissa well be famous soon, we don't know but according to Supertron Random, she is a hero in all of our hearts.