Soccer = Big Queer Looking Douche Bags

Take a look at soccer players. Notice you'll pick out a lot of them saying you hate them. People you tell this to will say you hate them for no apparent reason. But guess who is wrong: THEM. You have a really good reason to hate a lot of soccer players.

You hate a lot of soccer players because it is full of pretty boys. Those are the kind of people that soccer prays on. If it wasn't for pretty boys from North America and the entire population of South America there would be no soccer now. But due to soccer we have a lot of lame soccer players. Girls just love them. I have no clue why. Neither does science. It is not pheromones either. It is something called On Earth Black Holes according to the national society against over aged soccer ( the organization says no one over the age of ten should be playing soccer. I agree). Due to the fact that soccer is not cool, all the pretty boys join the teams at a young age. Now girls are weirdly attracted to people who love uncool things such as soccer. These people date each other. This is why the awsome people like me and you hate soccer players.

Soccer is also the most boring sport except for curling, tennis and golf. These sports only entertain the players, not the audience. Which is a huge reason that people say that they hate soccer players. You have to have a problem to join a team the first place. Parents that enroll kids in soccer are monsters. The mothers are usually the worst. The fathers like the mother for looks only. MILF.
Soccer players are usually dicks. They think that they are better than everyone else. They think they are cool because girls follow them around. They really only like the girls as friends though because all of them are gay and it helps them stay in the closet. Once they come out they would no longer be cool enough to have friends. But people would also hate them because they are posers and posing to be straight wouldn't do them any justice. ALL SOCCER PLAYERS ARE POSERS.